Running For a Cause. The idea of organizing a race to benefit a cause is far from a new idea. People have been coming together in sporting events for centuries, yet this weekend I take up my own cause, the Jingle Bell Run. Doug and I are going to run a 10k with numerous other people that we don't know, in silly outfits and out in the cold. As a community we look forward to it, asking all our friends if they have signed up. We want everyone to be on board. What makes it fun is not only all the fellowship, the adrenaline that's pumping through people's veins or the endorphins that puts our fellow man in good spirits, but the common goal that everyone there is to experience something slightly difficult for a common cause. Yesterday I ran with my good friend Allison and we enjoyed some awesome conversation, stimulating thoughts and the benefits of doing something productive. The five miles seemed like nothing, and the hills were not nearly so horrible with a buddy by your side. Even though it wasn't a sanctioned event, the idea remains the same, we were coming together for a common goal. Life is similar to this. We are here on this earth with the commonality of glorifying God and being in relationship with Him. Our cause, Him. For by Him were all things created, whether visible or invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. (Col 1:16,17) We gather with fellow comrades and are running this race of life, talking to others to share in the same cause. My prayer is that I would continue running, not growing weary of well doing, but being diligent, loving others and interceding on behalf of those that God puts into my life. I press on.

It is Finished!

I did it. I ran the Portland Marathon and survived. I have officially finished my recovery time and am back at the exercise. This time I am taking the necessary precautions to learn about the technical side of running. I want to be more efficient with my energy and know how to increase my mileage safely. Mostly I would like to be able to run with others while being able to breathe or chit chat. Following the marathon I realized that many thoughts go through your head as you are out there plugging away, one foot in front of the other. I used the next few weeks to prioritize my thoughts and to evaluate if they were good ones, or if they were just "marathon" thoughts and needed to be discarded. I feel like it was an epic event that changed my life, giving me a physical analogy of what it means to run with endurance, press on and to not grow weary in well doing. Running has changed my life. For one, my body is adjusting to this form of exercise and it's not as difficult as it once was. Secondly it has given me time to spend with Jesus. I have been able to use that time to meditate, pray and most importantly, as a time for healing in my heart. Despite the difficulty and challenges that it has brought, I wouldn't trade it for the world!

A Training Schedule

So someone asked me recently how the training was coming and what kind of schedule I was using. I didn't know how to respond and felt like a deer in the headlights,unable to move, for I don't really have a "schedule", I merely survive. It's one day after another, one foot/ step at a time. I would love to have the discipline of looking at a piece of paper with the confidence of being able to run or practice the things suggested on it, all with the end goal of being more fit. I almost envy the people that participate in those "running groups" and don't have to work on the weekends so they can do "long runs". However, what has happened with me and the last two training schedules, is that I find that my work, school, horse and a little social life, all take precedence or that they are unpredictable, so I don't have a "time" when I can get the training in when the paper says to. I find myself frustrated and irritated that I missed a run, or don't have time to fit a long one in, or I need to have energy for work so I can't do the intervals (speed and hills tend to wipe me out). So, I survive. I do what I can when I can and I am learning to just not worry about it. I have this Cascade Lakes Relay thing coming around the corner and of course I don't feel fit enough, but I guess I haven't for the other things up to this point either.
I know that I am burning calories, that I need to do squats, lunges and strength training, I swim or ride a bike around town and I take my dog for walks, all this should count for something. To be honest, I am enjoying myself! My time is getting slower, the distance a little longer and the garmin doesn't rule my life. It's quite nice and I feel much better when I don't get anxious, but just savor the moments and allow myself some rest days. We are all different; we run differently, are motivated differently, our bodies respond differently and we each have our own reasons for doing what we do with our exercise time. I am learning to be comfortable with that and that I don't have to fit in a routine. This is a challenge for me. Most of the time I never feel like I am using what little time I do have to it's highest efficiency and always wonder if I pushed myself hard enough. I am letting go, one day, step, moment at a time.

Quite Fit Enough

I never really feel quite fit enough. I ran that Smith Rock Sunrise Classic, and I certainly didn't feel like an athlete going into it. I don't know what it is, but the time commitment to getting any length of exercise in is so hard. I keep telling myself during the times that I do work out that I am an athlete. A high schooler was explaining to me their off season work out schedule and that the coach keeps telling themselves to say, "I am an athlete." everyday. I am nervous because the Cascade Lakes Relay is coming up and I need to be able to tackle some pretty big tasks, stay up for long periods of time and not the let the team down. I think I am going to have to start running twice a day on the days that I do work out, even if they are for short distances. I know they are going to be short distances, I don't have the time to run long ones. It seems that I am going to have to bank on some core and foundational strength training to get me through. If I work real hard in this coming week and a half, do some varying distances the week following, a few days off, then I should be ready to go. I think the mental stamina is the hardest part for me. It's as if my mind wants to quit but my body can keep going. The advantage I have right now is that I have lost ten pounds. I never drink enough water though, and should make that a priority in the coming days ahead. I read how life giving it is, supplies energy, repairs muscles helps the brain to think more quickly and efficiently. There are so many benefits so I don't know why it's such a hard thing to do. Actually, anything worth while is usually hard to do. Well, I am off to go for a short four miler this morning before going to work! Here it goes.... for I am an athlete!

Smith Rock Sunrise Classic

I just finished the half marathon at Smith Rock State Park. The scenery was breathtaking, the temperature not too hot and lots of new memories made. I can't wait to share them! For now, I am off to go work, but tonight we shall reconvene.

Still Running

Today someone said, " Oh your a runner!" with such enthusiasm, as if we had something vitally important in common. I hated to disappoint them but had to reply, "No, I run." With that, there is a difference. When I think of a runner a certain persona comes to mind, one that looks lean, loves health food and pasta and lives in trendy athletic attire. I don't fit any of that description. I am thick, love my cream cheese and fried chicken (even though I choose not to live off the stuff for health benefits) and tend to dress according to the mood of that day.
When I think of a runner, I assume that this person lives for running, loves running and does it in there "free" time or as a hobby because of the endorphins that are released. I run. I run because I know I need to discipline myself, in my food intake, physical exercise and of the mind. I run because I don't want to get fat. I run because it creates social patterns that I couldn't follow if I didn't do something to relate to others outside of my natural social circle. I run so that Barnabas gets his exercise. I run because the bottom line is, I need to. I enter races so that I have one more motivating factor to get me out there to run. Yes, there may be other means or methods of exercise and I do partake of these on my cross training days. However, running is cheap, educational and an overall good form of activity for overall health.
I am still running.

Run For the Dream

Run For the Dream and run we did! My sister and I attended the inaugural run for the half marathon that takes place in beautiful Colonial Williamsburg. While Aaron, Chris and John did not run, I felt that they were just as much a part of the event as we were. I can't describe how awesome it was to have family celebrating the journey with you and to know that your sister was out there sweating with you. I loved seeing posters with my name on them and hearing someone cheer for you, the whole thing was exhilarating. The weather was awesome, being 80 degrees and 96% humidity. I could ring my clothes out during mile two. However, I wasn't really bothered by the sun after I "warmed" up and never really thought about it again. What I did think about was my sore, scrunched toes, the rolling hills and mostly consumed with the chaffing that was taking place where the seams of my compression shorts rubbed against my inner leg. I thoroughly enjoyed the scenery and all the diverse terrain that we ran on.
To commemorate the event I ran with a disposable camera in my fanny pack and took pictures at places that I had good thoughts. I did run out of film and am not quite sure how that happened since I took 20 pictures on a 27 exposure camera. My muscles were tired at mile 11 and I need to somehow figure out how to train for those last three to four miles. I can see that I have a lot of work to do prior to the marathon in October. Even though my time was slower, something that I have been struggling with, this was by far my favorite half marathon up to this point. I am sure that we are going to do it again next year. One of the most inspiring and encouraging things surrounding the weekend was hearing that my brothers would like to train for one. It was so sweet at how moved they were as we crossed the finish line, maybe, if not more so, as much as we were. They thought that they might train for one this summer and do it together this fall. Just the thought of this is awesome.
I never thought that I would run 13.1 miles, and I got to do it in beautiful country, with a terrific sister. I feel like somehow this resembles the tough stuff that we have been through. While we may not have run side by side, each person making their own story and partaking of their own journey, to know that someone you love is going the distance with you makes the hard parts bearable.
Amanda and family, thank you for going the distance with me, whether you are cheering me on, celebrating with me at the end or running the path, each of you are vitally important to me and help make life worth living. Thank you all!!!!!!!!

Really? It's in there?

Yesterday I met some magnificent young ladies in Minnesota (which that state surprised me a little) and we began talking about running. Colleen was encouraging, as she too doesn't enjoy the ordeal, but was willing to jump on board for a Hood-to-Coast team. Stacey was inspiring with her discipline and training for the 5k she is running this weekend. Through the course of the conversation it was mentioned how we truly are made for going the distance and movement. I was reminded of what Jeff Galloway, an olympian medalist, refers to in his book; "Experts and others point to the ancient bio-mechanisms of the ankle, achilles, buttocks, and many other components which are forward motion exercise-specific adaptations." Isn't that wild? It's in there!!!!! As a healthy individual I have access to everything I need to be able to do this half marathon next weekend... and with some training, all those pieces begin to work together and running "becomes easier".
On the same note, I am reminded of 2 Peter 1:3 where it states that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness. I have been given everything I need to live the life that my heavenly Father desires and is glorified by. Col. 1:28 tells us that Christ is in us, it's that simple. These things don't always feel true. When I run and my muscles are in agony, or more like I can't breathe, or I see a hill (to be honest, it doesn't even have to be that big in order for me to want to complain) and I long to walk, it doesn't feel like I have what it takes to accomplish the task, but the truth is, I do!!!! I can do it!!!! I can live according to the gospel!!!! and I can run a marathon!!!!!! I have been entrusted with the opportunity to believe God's Word even when I don't think I see or feel anything that would help me believe. I am so excited!!! What a great gift! I have been given all that I need to survive those runs. Maybe I should use another word besides survive so I can get mentally stoked about going the distance... let's say it like this...I have been given all that I need to run the race, finish the course. I also have all that I need to live according to the gospel through the true knowledge of Him who called me by His own glory and excellence. Now this is inspiring!!!!

Mile?....I just Need some Electrolytes, water and HELP!

Anyone ever ask how you are doing and you don't know how to respond? I find myself wondering if they REALLY want to know what's going on, are they just asking to be polite, do they want to just get some dirt or do they REALLY want to know. I have my general response's that I go off of, but need some new ones. I get tired of hearing myself say the same things over and over, it's almost like I lose my sense of creativity for the moment, my mind freezes and I say the same things I always say.
Running has helped me with this. I can compare many moments in life to that of some kind of run. For example, there has been a little bit of emotional/ relational upheaval in my life the last couple of weeks and the closest thing I can compare it with is being at mile, well... who knows. You don't know how far you have come, you don't know where you are, you don't know how much farther you have to go and you just want an aid station to appear out of nowhere with some AWESOME heat electrolytes and a moment of temporary relief. You continue to run, remembering on the course layout that there was an aid station... somewhere, and the only way to get there is to keep running. You know that on the last run you went on that you had to run until the end. Wait, there is an end, you must keep going. Yes, this is how I felt my last week went. I can write about it now because I came to the aid station. It took awhile, some mental stamina and the forcing of moving forward, but I found it. Life is much the same way, we must keep moving forward. The Good Book says come to Him all who are heavy laden and He will give you rest. AMEN! He says, "Take up your cross and follow me." He doesn't say where we are going but implies that it won't be easy. I feel all the better for it and know that my core values and beliefs are all the more solid. I don't know about you, but I am going to keep running.

Looking for that Second Wind

They say that when you run you will grow weary and then, out of nowhere comes your second wind which carries you for another good portion of time. As you run more and more, your first wind gets longer and longer, before the second one comes. This is just one more reason to practice running and exercising. So, while I have not run at all this week because I am working in Portland, I am still looking for that second wind. My heart is growing weary and tired, I feel fatigue trying to attack from behind and my patience/ tolerance level wearing thin. However, I am digging deep and pulling it out, it's that second wind. Here it goes! I will push forward, put on my smile and face life with vigilance today. I am not going to let the weakness of the other runners, or in this case, the complaining of the people around me, effect my life and where I am at. I will not compare myself to them or look at them with negativity. Actually, I am not going to look at them at all because they are super discouraging. I will keep running, laying aside every encumbrance.
While I am giving myself the pep talk, my life feels the way my legs did at mile 11 in the last half marathon, weary and heavy, hard to move, yet I have no choice to keep going. Life is coming at me, the distance in the run is still there, so I may as well put one foot in front of the other, and attempt to do it well.
I am off to go locate my second wind, wishing that it was like a brightly colored easter egg so that it would be easier to find.

Speed Work and Hills

Today I attempted some speed work and hills in my workout. Both were hard, horrible and left me unable to breathe. I decided that this type of exercises brings out the worst in my mind and leaves me with no question about the sin nature inside of me. I want to say things and think things that should not be. Doesn't God's word say to flee from temptation? Maybe I should abandon the hill's and speed because of what they produce. It takes every once of self control to stay on task and to do it somewhat gracefully. This morning I had to leave the gym after taking a shower, just so I could simmer down. Oh gracious, will anything about this get easier? I just don't want to be miserable as I run the half with my sister. Help!!!

OH Boy!

OH boy.... Three months ago I didn't think I would ever finish 13.1 miles. Running caused the most horrible things to come from me, not just sweat and toxins, but swear words and evil thoughts. When I run with Garret, he wants to talk and have conversations, that's good, I take the time to practice my listening skills. Are you kidding me? My grandma always said that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. So why would I talk and run at the same time?
Running now just makes me hurt, maybe not while I am doing it so much anymore, but the after effects are lasting. My knees at night yell at me and tell me to stop. My hips are in conspiracy and decide to let that muscle stay tight, after all, if it ever got better I might keep going (I don't think they want that.) However, with all this stuff going on, yesterday I told Katie that if she would walk/ run a marathon, I would too. I can't believe that I let such things out of my mouth! I did think about it, and the walk part sounds marvelous. That's the problem with running, it makes thoughts you would never think, run through your head.

Rest

As Recovery week came in like a thunder cloud, I took it in full force. I decided to take the 7 days to contemplate rest, read race magazines that talked of the importance of rest and the symptoms that let you know when you need rest. There are two basic types of rest. There is the one that most of us are familiar with and savor, the lack of going anywhere or doing anything. This classifies as a real day off. There is also active rest. This is the "rest" that means you are still active, but keeping the heart rate low. Most of the time athletes think that they are actively resting when, in reality, they are still trying to push themselves, just not as much as usual. Resting that is beneficial is not the time to push, but enjoy. For me this would be a nice, easy jog down my favorite trail, watching t.v. while doing the elliptical or taking Barnabas for a walk.
I think of when Jesus says, "Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest." It's a tranquility. No matter what is going on, there is a sense of comfort. Rest implies that there is something to rest from. When you are an athlete, your muscles are doing their best work as you allow them to rest and rebuild. It's a necessary thing for you to be stronger. It's also good for your heart. Therefore, spiritually, it must work the same way. The rest that Jesus gives must be good for us and we must need it. Our society says push, go, do. Yet, in the long run, rest is a vital part of life. The more I run, the more I understand my body and when it needs a break. I guess you would say that I am more in tune with what my body is telling me. A greater appreciation for the Creator comes from trying to be sensitive to my physical needs so that I can be a good steward of the health that he has given me.
Rest, it's an important piece for getting stronger, and I am going to make the most of it.

So Sore, But So Worth It!

Today I am incredibly sore, and rather it is from running, falling off the horse or a combination thereof, it doesn't matter, I am sore. I was contemplating how awesome it is though that our bodies tell us when to rest, take a break and just be careful. I am not going to quit running, despite what some may say, because I have some very specific goals of why I am doing this. However, I will need to take it easy and do some recovery days to get myself back in the game. I was reading in the runner's magazine just yesterday about the importance of rest days. Sometimes that is through active recovery and sometimes that is just what it says, rest. For me, having reasons and goals for my running has motivated me when nothing else would. It is in these times of rest and soreness that I reevaluate why I am doing this, and at this point, for me, I am right on target. It's not about how far I run (although I chose half marathons because they seemed so far out of my league), but how and why I am doing it. My reasons for running are the same today as they were yesterday when I started the race and are as follows:
1) Physical Discipline reminds me that I need to be of Spiritual Discipline.
*I have to get myself up and moving to be ready for the next running event. It is the same in my spiritual life, if I don't get myself in the Word, how am I going to be prepared when the next curve ball is thrown my direction.
2) Fitness helps me Focus and Have Fun.
*When my energy has an outlet, then I can prioritize my life, get things done in a timely fashion. When someone asks me if I want to go with them on a hike, a jog down the river, etc. I am ready. I want to be a good steward of this time that I have on this earth and running is a reminder of that.
3) Social Reasons
*It gives me another outlet or way to connect with people. I have many stories of how relationships have deepened, how hearts have been touched and how I have made new friends, simply through running and fitness. This is an avenue that I can use to tell others about Jesus. Whether you are already an athlete or I can relate with you on the "I want to be an athlete, but it's painful" we probably have something in common.
4) Lifestyle Change.
*As I run more and run longer, I am more aware of the importance of how running for me is a lifestyle change. I am conscientious of the foods that I am eating, the amount of water that I am drinking, how much and when to exercise or eat. I realize that what I put in, effects my energy and how much I can put out. Is it not the same with the Word of God? What goes in my mind and body, effects my spiritual output.
5) Last but not Least, I don't want to be fat and lonely.
* I would love to lose some inches doing this becuase I hear that running helps make you lean. However, I have yet to see the effects of that and I have been at this for three and a half months, run two half marathons and have changed my eating habits. Oh well, maybe it will come eventually, for I know that I am more fit. As for the loneliness. I still spend much of my time alone, have not gone on any dates with amazing men, but am learning to be content being alone vs. being alone AND lonely. Fortunately I do have my dog and horse. I am more confident and content, this I know. (maybe I use my running to ward off fears and anxiety because its a safe place to talk to God...hmmm....)

Anyway, those are the five reasons, and for now I am sticking with them. Due to the recuperating muscles in my body and the stiffening of the joints as I sit here, it looks like I should go for a walk despite the wind and rain out there.

The Second Half.

There's a second, as if the first wasn't good enough. Today was the day for Race for the Roses in Portland, OR. There were almost 5,000 people signed up, but only about 1800 did the half marathon. I was a little sore going into it from falling off less than 48 hours previously. I couldn't do anything on Saturday, so it was mostly cold turkey. The week before my first half marathon I drank tons of water, was super conscious about what I was eating, exercised at all the right times, etc. This time I stood in an arena, only ran about 7 miles this week and 14 the week before. I rode horses and fell off, but took lots of Ibuprofen an hour before the start time. The first eight miles went super! I made it up the long steep hil and came flying down on the other side. I loved the view of the city, the sound of the DJ's and the spectators on the side. However, at mile 8 someone says to me, "We have already gone eight miles, we only have five to go." When I heard "the only five to go" I felt Debbie downer inside of me hit a wall. I immediately slowed my pace (subconsciously of course.) The second downer moment was at mile 11 when I overheard someone tell their friend that we weren't far, but just had to run all the way down to Salmon ST. and turn around. All I heard was "Run ALL THE WAY down to Salmon St." I didn't even know where Salmon St. was, but it sounded further than I wanted to think about. Actually, by this time, I had less than two miles to go. I pressed on. I did have to stop twice to stretch. My legs were so tight and my muscles were tired. However, I could breathe!!! I relate this moments to that in my spiritual life. At the time these things were said, especially the first one, I was feeling strong and confident, so sure of my time and energy. However, when I listened to outside sources, one wasn't even directed at me, I found myself feel heavy, discouraged and wondering if this was all worth it. The lesson I learned was this: don't listen, don't allow yourself to be swayed by outside sources and your strength must come from within.
On the course I met a young lady that I shared alot of similarities with, so that was kind of cool. I sprinted at the end towards the finish line.... and I mean, for Jessica, it was fast. My hips, back and knees hurt immensely right now. I am going to go to bed. Good night.

Running in the Elements

Last night I slept with the great anticipation of going on this nice, long run. I was aiming for somewhere around 11 miles, with a water break at mile 5.5. This morning I arose with the same excitement and couldn't wait to feel that sense of accomplishment. However, I forced myself to stay in my room and read/ study Business Law until it was 7. I dressed, expecting the air to be somewhat cooler as the sun had not yet touched the day. Barnabas and I get my shoes on, and then it happened, I opened the door and saw what I had dared not even thought of.... the snow, gray clouds and breeze coming straight in the door. I shut that thing and thought, "Just when I didn't even have to talk my body into exercise, out of nowhere the elements come in like they own the place." Well, needless to say, I decided to continue with my day, getting the oil changed, doing some more studying and trying to talk myself out of taking a nap. It was closing in on 10:00 when either I was going to cave, and get a little shut eye, or force myself out the door. I chose the latter. I suited up, grabbed Barn's leash and out we went. Somewhere around the half way mark of our now just 6 mile trip, the snow began to come down heavier, be wetter and the wind came from some direction. I kept chugging along. While it would be nice to think that I could push myself to a pace below 10 miles, it just realistically doesn't seem to happen. The first two miles my knees hurt, it feels impossible to run and I usually feel heavy and gross, today was no different. I kept chugging along, listening to my music and getting in a groove. If I just let myself go at my own comfy pace, the running doesn't seem so hard. It's when I think I have to go faster and be better that I feel my mind shut down. I hear that hill work and intervals will help my breathing and teach my body to burn fuel more efficiently; and I do these things. So how is it that I still can't breathe up hills and my pace does not seem to be getting faster. I would like to be faster, I just don't want to have to think about it. I want that groove that I was feeling today to go from 10:48 per mile to 9 minute miles. Maybe it will someday. I just have to keep going, suiting up and running in the elements.